Some biographical milestones that brought me here
While I was taking the required Science of Mind classes to enter the Religious Science Practitioner training at the (then) Agape Church of Religious Science in the early 2000’s, I had a powerful dream. I witnessed myself lying on the floor of one of our classes, legs spread out, giving birth. It looked like a Frida Kahlo painting. As the birth progressed, I saw the head of a fully-grown woman emerging from my own body: it was myself, and I had make up on!
Wow! What a graphic way my subconscious mind had of communicating how I was literally–rather physically–, embodying my own rebirth! I was in my late 40s and there was a lot of transformation going on in my life, lots of structures crumbling and disintegrating.
There was still much more pain and dragons to slay on the way, but my heroine’s journey was well under way—as it had actually been my whole life, but this time in a much deeper way, and intentionally. The dream became the theme of my final project for the class: a very symbolic scene where I emerged from a cave-like uterus, ushered by my two daughters: Paloma and Violeta, my midlife midwives.
I believe that the enactment of the symbolic rebirthing of myself stayed strong in my consciousness as the probable source of my identification with the role of Midlife Midwife that I play in my clients’ process of remaking themselves.
I feel very strongly that as we approach menopause, we women need to rebirth ourselves. It is a time for letting go and uncluttering of all those old behaviors, beliefs, people, situations and things that don’t serve us anymore. Many times, we need a helping hand to guide us through this process. I know I did!
Like, for example, I surely needed support with the flaring of my eating disorders. As soon as I hit menopause, I gained 30 pounds. I have to confess that I bought into the idea that as a menopausal woman, I’d resign myself to become old and overweight. It was as if I was saying goodbye to my younger years by acting out received ideas about aging and exacerbating a coping mechanism I had used since childhood: emotional eating.
As a young woman growing up in Argentina, an image-obsessed country, I received messages early on about the importance of being beautiful, and that meant THIN. As I felt called to explore a much deeper experience of life, this inner struggle manifested as self-hatred and emotional eating.
Consequently, I developed a very conflictive relationship with my body that resulted in serious issues of body image. Part of the time I went along with the requirements of my culture; a better part of the time I was depressed and overweight. My story is about fighting my own truth my entire life: the fact that I was not naturally stick thin (the reality of MOST women) and did everything possible to achieve that ideal. When I did, it was short-lived and didn’t provide the fulfillment I was looking for.
As I matured into my menopause years, my journey became one of self-acceptance and self-love: no longer punishing and rejecting myself to look or feel good “in the future,” but doing so from a place of wanting to feel good and radiate this feel good energy now. My lifelong spiritual practices helped me achieve mental and emotional mastery. I also learned that reestablishing a healthy relationship with food was the main contributor to re-awakening this feeling of wellness that was asleep in me. Eating certain foods awakened a vibrancy within that I was never able to access when I simply had restrictive or binge/purge diets. The releasing of a diet that did not support my health activated my need to self-express through movement:
I celebrate my body now, as I move it gracefully when I dance, when I swim, when I practice yoga.
My mission as a Midlife Midwife is to model how transformation is attainable, that it is possible to recover our juiciness and stay healthy and vibrant after our reproductive years. And in fact, live a productive and fulfilled second half of our lives on our own terms now!